已經整整三個月沒有BLOG了

在深山裡學習活在當下已經三個月了，
因此也三個月沒有BLOG了

這三個月的轉變很不可思議

我得仔細想想要用什麼形式
來記錄才不會落俗套

有人在這裡留言
感覺被偷窺
可是又有被偷窺的快感

今天跟周小花在MSN談了一會兒
可以在未成名演員守則這個部落格上面看到我們的交談內容

我已經把有關於DRUG SEX AND ALCOHOL 的內容都刪了
所以想看八卦的人還是趁早離席
（哈哈，難怪我們還沒成名）

OH WELL，自我揶揄也是當下的一種表現吧

聖母山的第一天 DAY ONE at Mt.Madonna

因為時差的關係
到達加州SAN JOSE才下午四點，
和邁阿密一樣，天氣晴朗， 但是空氣中的濕度和性慾望明顯變的稀薄了許多。


手機裡面充滿了來自於KATE的語音留言。
KATE，一個從未謀面的女孩，和我約在機場見面後在一起搭車上聖母山。
「他該不會是放我鴿子了吧？！」
很顯然的，根據他先生給我的語音留言，KATE今天是不會在SAN JOSE 機場出現了
早已被未知搞的緊張兮兮的我這時在這個人生地不熟的環境裡更是變本加厲的恐懼了起來

我立刻播了KATE的電話。

談話內容其實很簡短，我無非只是想要加深KATE臨時放我鴿子的罪惡感。我告訴他我瞭解他的飛機臨時被取消的苦處，但至少他應該先打電話聯絡約定好來接我們一起上山的同學來提早接我的時間，這樣我就不用多等兩個小時了。

抗議電話結束後，我自行播打給AMBER，也就是家住SAN JOSE 附近並且要來接我們的同學。
電話沒通。

百般無聊的我開始打電話給所有我認識住在加州的親朋好友們，包括我那位同父異母的哥哥，張力。

張力和我已經快14年未謀面，上一次通電話大概是十年前左右的事了。
那一次通電話非常不愉快，那次之後即便是他主動找我，我都不想理會他，甚至不想承認他是我哥哥。
那時我認為他在我的生命中只是一位過客，充其量是一個小時後的玩伴，他的存在與否並不重要。
然而，在今年年初，我忽然發現我在生命學習的過程中傷害了也忽視了不少人的心，哥哥也是其中之一。

我於是播了他的電話。
他接起電話。
我們的談話約三十分鐘。我才得知，聖母山其實離他住的所在並不遠，開車約三個小時。離我們的姊姊家更近（對，我有一位21年從未謀面的姊姊，NORA）約兩個小時車程。哥哥的聲音裡面有一種保守的關心。有一點距離。

兩個小時在「熱線你和我」的連結中很快的過去了。
AMBER 也預期的到達機場
AMBER小姐戴著GUCCI的太陽眼鏡，腳上套著夾腳拖鞋，開著她媽媽的BMW，一位很CHIC女生。
初次見面，我就感覺得這個女孩子心地很善良而且單純。目前是小學老師的AMBER和我一樣對瑜珈有興趣並且也想成為瑜珈老師。

我們在閒聊中已不知不覺的來到了聖母山 MT.MADONNA
因為AMBER是當地人，所以對來到山上的路況瞭若指掌。

抵達MT.MADONNA下了車後，我發現我是唯一腳蹬高跟鞋的女生。
山谷好靜，我好不自在，尤其是在得知帳棚是搭在山裡面後，我竟然害怕了起來。
我真是蠢蛋，去省那個幾百塊住帳棚幹嗎。
一輩子沒有睡過帳棚超過三次，現在我必須要一整各月睡在帳棚裡...我真的準備好了嗎？

好心的AMBER用她母親的BMW小跑車在黃土飛揚的山路上終於找到了帳棚營區的所在。抵達後我打開行李箱將我的名牌手拉大旅行箱搬出來，上氣不接下氣的用拉的用抱的用扛的終於將它拖進帳棚內。

看到帳棚內擱置著兩片薄薄的海綿墊，當下的我只想哭。
到底是哪一個白癡告訴我帶LINENS （床單）就好了？
沒有帳棚經驗的我真的只有帶一片薄薄的床單和枕頭套子。
這跟我心裡所預期的單人床墊和已經準備好的被子有點出入。
AMBER此刻在我身後問我：
「TAFFI 你帶幾個睡袋呢？這裡晚上會很冷喔」
我回頭看著他，用力控制著已經在顫抖的聲帶：
「ZERO。」
「OH MY GOD！」AMBER驚叫：「你今天晚上會凍死，這樣好了，你今天晚上撐一下，我明天拿我爸爸的睡袋給你」
我確信AMBER是一位天使。

那一天晚上我把所有箱子裡面的夏天衣服都穿在身上，包括兩頂棒球帽。
但是我還是冷到睡不著覺，於是我開始寫日記：

"好像已經忘了如何與大自然為伍了。來到MT.MADONNA，看到自己住的帳棚的那一刻

我就知道：I put myself into a mission.

有一股莫名的恐懼感，但又知道這將是人生中一段特別的經驗。

I just need to accept, accepting my anxiety, accept the fact that I am once
again out of my comfort zone, accept my decision, accepting myself, then breath
through it.

I love you, you know?

I know.

I love you, too. "

My Monologue

Alluring, difficult woman seeks stable and assertive man

Date: 2007-05-21, 10:39AM EDT
I am in search of a patient, assertive, and attractive man to aid me in my quest for self-improvement. These qualities are non-negotiable and the explanation is as follows. After two intense failed relationships, {both which, in retrospect, were almost completely my fault but I was able to successfully manipulate things so as to make each man believe they were in the wrong} I have spent a lot of time thinking about who I am and I have isolated several personality traits that make it somewhat difficult for a normal person to have a relationship with me. I am looking for a man who is secure enough in himself to tolerate our exciting lifestyle {a background or degree in psychology is a plus.} I am determined to find a healthier way of approaching things, as I never want to ruin anyone's life ever again. I have decided to be completely honest right off the bat, therefor eliminating the time it takes to 'get to know one another' {i.e. time it takes for you to realize I am a complete psycho- but by then you are completely helpless to resist my allure and charisma and are unable to wrench yourself from me, your beautiful demise.} Some things you should know: *I have a major 'Daddy' complex. My father, whom I adored as a god, left when I was young. No matter how well you treat me, you will never be as good of a man as my Daddy. *I will never trust you. The first of two men I thought I loved and slept with cheated on me time and time again, and impregnated other women and paid for their abortions with my money. I did not find any of this out until two years into our relationship when we had a home and a life together and I was pregnant with a child of my own. These indiscretions, and my tendency to be rash and impulsive led to me having an abortion. I am prone to bouts of melancholy and self-hatred because of the guilt I still feel over this decision. *I have no communication skills. I will never tell you what is wrong with me, nor will I share any of my secrets, fears, hopes or dreams with you. {I do have several of these- one of them is to someday not be so crazy.} You will have to pry information out of me. I feel like if I confide in you, when I ultimately drive you away- which I am bound to do- you will have these personal pieces of me and that makes me feel vulnerable and I am terrified of being vulnerable. *I have an addictive personality. I was a crack addict when I was 15-16, and relapsed again when I was 18. I like to think I have conquered these addictions but it wouldn't surprise me if I relapsed again. *I am a cold and unemotional bitch. This, of course, is all a facade, but you will constantly wonder if I truly care about you or not. If you do not pay me 100% of your attention, I will feel rejected and inwardly wonder why you do not love me. Then I will pretend that you are nothing more to me than a mote of dust- which of course I do not notice. If you pay me too much attention I will feel cagey and suffocated and walk out the door without telling you where I am going and may not return for several days. No matter how long we are together, you will never see me cry. I am a brick wall. **CLARIFICATION**- About once every five months I will cry over my vacuumed fetus but when this happens I will lock myself in the smallest possible space I can find so you cannot see me. This is usually a closet or a bathroom, although I was partial to a large trunk I owned until someone confiscated it with my best interests in mind. *Although I will always be completely faithful to you, I will have no less than five men in line who are able and willing to keep me platonic company if you ever need to leave for any reason. This is because I cannot bear to be alone, even though I pretend that that is all I want. *I am terrified of commitment. Know that I will never marry you, or if in a moment of confusion I do agree to marry you, I will not show up on our wedding day. *I have some sexual preferences that some people may not be able to handle. I want sex several times a day and I like to be hit, choked, and called nasty names. Please be comfortable with such abuse. * I am incredibly indecisive. I do not know what I want to eat, wear, or do at any given time. Once we have reached a decision I will change my mind. I am also extremely scatterbrained and lose my keys, phone, wallet, etc. on a regular basis. I will expect you to be able to locate these items. I am also very impatient and want what I want when I want it, with no regards to your feelings. *I throw punches when I feel cornered. I kickbox, so they are good punches. Now that that is out of the way, I do have some redeeming qualities! *I am beautiful, intelligent, educated and articulate. You can be assured that all of your family and friends will envy you for having such a wonderful girlfriend. I am definitely the girl you can bring home to mom. You and only you will know of my dichonomy and my psychotic antics when we are alone. *I can cook a mean steak. *When I am happy, {which is a good portion of the time} you will feel like the most amazing man alive and the center of my universe. *I am artistically gifted. *I have a stable and lucrative career. *I make friends with everyone, including homeless people and vicious dogs. I take bugs out of my house and let them go. As mentioned, I am extremely charismatic and you will be unable to resist my charms. I guarantee you will fall in madly and twistedly love with me, and although you know that I will ultimately leave you in an emotional bloody shredded heap in pursuit of my own needs, you will be unwilling and unable to exorcise me from your life, so serious replies only, please. P.S.- Please be an animal lover. If you are not, then I am not the girl for you.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interestsPostingID: 335213414

生命一部份之一：廣告

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=taffichang

開心拍廣告

Cheers!

阿才 與 阿傑- "Most Distant Course"最遙遠的距離 Directed by 林靖傑 Lin Jing-Jie

最遙遠的距離 -林靖傑導演 主：桂綸鎂、賈孝國

很期待這部電影

距離殺青趴踢已經是快半年了

拍攝前好不安

拍攝當天好緊張，收工後有好多好多的想法

拍攝後完有好多朋友

現在， 電影放映了，留下的是好多的回憶。

這部劇情片是林靖傑導演為他的best friend, 陳明才所寫的。

那場阿才（賈孝國飾）與女病人心理諮詢的層次哭戲在剛開始拍攝時並不順利，飾演精神衰弱老公外遇的女病人，眼淚竟然半滴都流不出。早上練習的時候明明說哭就哭阿，越想越不通，越不通就越緊張。在場拍攝組所有的人都快哭了，但就我一個人哭不出。後來導演還拉我出去PEP TALK 。再次回到攝影鏡頭前，林靖傑突然大聲的說「張葳，我要你把你回台灣後所受的一切委屈都宣洩出來，所有的委屈！」

瞬間我突然馬上進入了另一個時空裡，情緒崩潰，眼淚一顆一顆從眼眶滾落，導演立刻ACTION，這時飾演阿才的賈孝國也馬上進入情緒。我感受到台詞裡所形容的： 「 妳的每一個毛細孔都在戰慄，彷彿他們每一個都張大的嘴巴喊著：我要我要...」

那場戲，阿才也在。

"The Most Distant Course" Written and directed by Lin Jing Jie

Really looking forward to the screening
It was almost... half year since the wrap party last year December

Before the shooting, so uneasy
On the lot and on the set, very nerving...
After the wrap, relieving but worrying (where is my next gig?)

During the shooting, I made many friends who share same passion both in film making and life itself which was very inspiring and fullfilling.

Now, the film is finally wrapped.

“The Most Distant Course", inspired by writer/ director's best friend, Chen Ming-Tsai（陳明才）.

On August 29, 2003, a red backpack by Do-Ran Bay in Tai-Tong Taiwan was found; Chen Ming-Tsai, actor, director, writer, environmentalist, the owner of the red backpack, was not.
Chen Ming-Tsai was protesting in a most aggressive and yet, most despotic way by sacrificing his life to manifest his will to protect the Do Ran Bay natural preserved area-- one of the few existing A-Mea Taiwan Aborigines habitations, from the Taiwanese government land reconstruction project that will eventually turn Do-Ran in to Do-Wrong..

“Chen Ming-Tsai, A-Tsai, was a passionate environmental activist who had written numerous articles to raise public awareness for the environmental issues in Do-Ran Bay. He was a stage actor, an unconventional creative stage actor. He was also a psychologist who tried and tried to heal his other identity- the bipolar A- Tsai. “

http://www.wretch.cc/blog/kufao&article_id=2785297

I felt deeply connected and moved with Chen Ming-Tsai during the scene where I portrayed a depression patient who avoided to admit her failure in marriage with A-Tsai( the psychiatrist, a character that was based on Chen Ming Tsai played by Jia Jiao Quo). I’m convinced that Jia was possessed by Chen Ming Tsai during that scene. Either that or the writer director Ling Jing Jie did an impeccable job creating the characters. The Most Distant Course was selected by the commission to be the opening film for the 2007 Taipei Film Festival

Plot Description for “The Most Distant
Course”
Psychiatrist A
tsai who is on the verge of breaking down, a sound
man Xiao Tang who is dumped by his girlfriend, and office worker
Royun whose boyfriend has another lover have all arrived at the crossroads
of their lives. In order to find themselves again, they each embark on a journey
which would bring them out of their current rut and change their lives…

[ 開幕片 ] -最遙遠的距離

[ Opening ] - THE MOST DISTANT COURSE


導演： 林靖傑 LIN Jing-jie
Taiwan / 2007 / 35mm / Color / 110 分鐘
類型：劇情片
分級：普遍級
字幕：中英
參展 / 得獎紀錄：世界首映

Screening 放映:
06/22(五) 19:00
廳別:
台北市中山堂


Screening 放映:
07/03(二) 12:20
廳別:
in89豪華數位影院

reference sites 參考網站

• 
  
  http://www.pots.com.tw/article.pl?sid=05/01/20/1058222&mode=nested


• 
  
  http://taiwanfilms.blogspot.com/2006/11/blog-post_1566.html


• 
  
  http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/kin_kon63/article?mid=5252

最遙遠的距離_慶功宴 MOST DISTANT COURSE_ WRAP PARTY

think...."too bad Homer is married"

Madonna and Mt.Madonna

瑪丹娜 Madonna 是我活到這麼大歲數唯一承認的精神領袖 （過世的如 PLATO、 國父孫文則不算在內）。
十一歲剛到美國時，因為語言不通也沒有朋友，所以每天放學下課後就回家看瑪丹娜的演唱會錄影帶，認真的、一格格的研究VOGUE每一個分解動作。等記下動作後在表演給住在附近的鄰居小朋友看，也是免費入場。

我甚至：

• 苦苦哀求我的外婆幫我做一套和瑪丹娜一模一樣的衣服
  
  
  
  （如圖）然後穿著它去上學 （i wonder why no one in my family stop me from doing that?)
  


• 
  
  
  將歌詞用注音國字英文拼音 (whatever works)





• 
  
  
  出門的時候在左唇上方用黑筆畫一顆痣

也許是偶然也許是巧合，六月份即將要啟程去Mt.Madonna學習瑜珈和拿瑜珈教師執照，共28天。Madonna 熱愛瑜珈的事實舉世皆知，雖然我開始接觸瑜珈並不是因為Madonna的關係，但是我在想很早已前，我的潛意識中早就因為她的關係而埋下了瑜珈的種子。

我的心中有一個很小的聲音告訴我，去 MT.Madonna 28天的閉關修習 （好像是去勒戒所禁閉28天的感覺）不是偶然而是祂的安排。或許這將會成為我生命轉折的契機，也或許是死亡的前兆。only god knows！ Whatever will be will be. 我正心好也需要藉著這次的機會，好好的將心裡的塵埃洗滌。

冥冥中，好像就是要走進瑜珈這條路

Madonna was just pointing my way to Mt.Madonna

ok, that make sense

Life goes on

他跟我說恐慌症發生時的症狀有如有一個人拿著一把刀子，一刀、一刀的、用力的刮著你的心臟。我看著他，覺得他在嚇唬我。我笑了笑，再繼續低下頭將碗中的白飯吃完，好像他剛剛說了一個不太好笑的笑話。

我現在很恐慌
因為愛的感覺慢慢的從從心臟開始流失
所以我要Promise 自己

這寫完後我將不在感覺
之前所有的感覺將至入一個ZIP LOCK FREEZER BAG ， seal and freeze
現在很難受但是以後總是會好的，然後又像是沒事了一樣，跟以前一樣
總之，我已經習慣傷痕，也習慣自己處理它

明天起床後、又是新的一天
life goes on

和你在一起

未知的恐懼加上對新環境的不適應，
我在表姊客廳的充氣床上輾轉難眠。
依稀記得我是在淚漬逐漸滲透了枕頭後才進入睡眠。

我做了一個夢
在夢裡
我在一個房子裡，昏黃的燈光打在老式的西式家具。我身處在上海20-30年代的屋裡。米色的牆壁上懸掛著各種不一樣的相框。
第一個相框裡掛著奶奶的照片。奶奶已過世許久，我望著她的相片對他說出內心的不安。突然間，相片中的奶奶開口對我說話了。我驚訝不已，噙著淚告訴奶奶我好想念她。奶奶曾經告訴我「凡事靠自己」但我一直沒有做到。一會兒，奶奶就不再說話了。
我跑到第二個相框前，那是爺爺的相片。對於爺爺，我只有感到抱歉，因為第一次見到爺爺是在很小的時候（約四歲）。當時台灣尚未解嚴，而身份為軍人的爸爸在離開中國20年後終於又和中國大陸的家人聯絡上了，於是他帶著才四歲的我義無反顧的悄悄回到了上海。當時的我只覺得爺爺很老很醜，所以不想理會他。但是爺爺太寵我，讓我坐在他的頭上挖鼻屎他也很開心。兩三年以後爺爺過世了我才開始難過小時候無禮。在相片裡的爺爺也同樣的開口說話了。爺爺說了很多但我心中只有一個念頭：我希望爺爺知道我心中是想念他的，而爺爺也一直是讓我驕傲的主要原因。
第三個相框裡的人是我爸爸。爸爸在我七歲時過世。記憶裡的父親一向都是在醫院裡或病床上。我看著爸爸的相片，期待他開口說話，終於，他開口了，他的嘴巴張開卻遲遲無法發音，最後，爸爸什麼話都沒有說。他只是看著我。

我醒了
我知道我的家人都在看著我，都和我在一起。
我們的關係從沒有斷，它一直在。
I think I will be alright.

Commencement Speech to the Harvard Class of 2000

I couldn't help but posting it. This is the speech given by Conan O'Brien at the Harvard 2000 Commencement. Read it, it's hilarious

http://www.february-7.com/features/conan.htm

Michael Jackson Dangerous

今天在逛Youtube时不经意的浏览到了Michael Jackson Dangerous的 video clip. 勾起许多陈年往事。 很难相信两年前在实验剧场的舞台剧中竟然能跳完这整支舞！我不禁懷疑当初是如何办到的？ 莫非有神助？MWUAHAHAHAH
两年前在没有深厚舞蹈底子的情形下靠著在剧场初识的朋友们帮助我不断的複习MICHAEL的所有舞步，好想念那段每天與汗水和沮丧攪和的三个月。

American Dream Synopsis

A-Dan and his sister Lily are two of the many illegal immigrants in America. Their new life in this foreign land seems promising to their parents: well paying jobs, beautiful environment, and most of all, hope for a brighter future. However, underneath the glorious image they have forged there lies a dark and heartbreaking truth: in order to pay off the price of their illegal immigration and keep their family safe, A-Dan is forced to prostitute Lily after their daily low-end jobs at the restaurant.

Their once exhilarating dream has been shattered; their once hopeful hearts have deceased. However, when a small incident rekindles Lily’s hope, she opens her youthful eyes and tries to embrace it one more time. Her sense of hope and future terrifies A-Dan. Having lost hope in the entire country, and probably the entire world, he convinces Lily that whatever she saw was nothing but a pipedream, and they as illegal immigrants can only surrender to their fate. Just as A-Dan realizes he has made a mistake, he will soon find out that it was one that may cost him his entire world.


阿丹和他的妹妹莉莉是在美国成千上万名非法移民中的一分子。 在父母的眼中，他们在这个陌生的国度的生活充满了灿烂：优厚的工作，优美的环境，还有最重要的是，他们在这里有对于未来的憧憬。然而，在他们精心描绘的画面的背后，隐藏着一个令人心碎的秘密：为了偿还高额偷渡债务，确保家人的平安，阿丹在打工之余被迫为莉莉拉客卖淫。

他们一度美好的梦想破灭了；他们曾经热切的心已经死去。可是，当一个偶然的机会让莉莉又一次看到了希望的时候，她终于再一次张开双眼试图去抓住它。她的希望让阿丹感到恐惧；他已经对这个国家，甚至这个世界失去了信心。他说服了莉莉，使她相信她只是在做白日梦，并让她明白对于像他们这样的人来说，接受命运是唯一的选择。当阿丹最终明白了自己的错误和软弱的时候，他发现这是一个他用尽一生也无法弥补的错误。

我決定要這樣死

今天晚上要拍Lily斷氣一幕。

sometimes we encounter stressful situations during the filmming like jinx. Like today, eric's car broke down in the morning, and then our prop car broke down in the afternoon, not to mention a couple days ago the rental truck was over-heated and broken down during the transportation.

Day Off- recovering from action sequence

昨晚彷彿作了一個惡夢。如果在現實生活中我能操控夢境，或許我就能成為一個更有意志力的人. 但是現在我只能藉著抽煙來撫平情緒。有一個瑜珈體位法叫做「駱駝」而邊抽駱駝邊做駱駝才能使我取得平衡。

LA 的表演教练， Bernard Hiller曾在课堂上告诉我："表演让你在现实生活中所不能、不可以、不可能做到的事发生" 接着他更进一步举例说明：「if you want to be a prostitute, you can, with out legal binding issues」女演員 Joan Allen once also said "Acting gave me the opportunity to do outrageous things. It allowed me to be sad, happy, angry and lustful even if it was just vicariously."

被嫖客殴打的妓女回忆，随着骆驼慢慢的与空气混合、稀释、淡化、消失。

ROOM 137- Int. Motel: The Violence Scene

The director asked and discussed with me numerous times prior to my arrival on today's scene. It is the scene when Lily, the young 18 yrs prostitute, was severely beaten up by the raging out-of-control john (played by Owen Proventure).Well, the day begin as a light hearted one. Eric offered me a ride from the motel lobby parking lot to the back of the motel, where the set was.

When crew began to show up, we realized sometime went totally unexpected and wrong. Our dressed set

room in room 137 was "cleaned" by the cleaning
motel staff.

今天的動作戲十分刺激緊張和血腥。讓我再次意識到腎上腺素的存在。在武打指導的帶領下，大部分的時候不是踢、揍不然就是踹。當然也有男演員在身上爬上爬下，當然也有吞吐血漿，當然在地毯上也有蟑螂在面前大辣辣的爬來爬去。 但這一切對我都很新鮮。所有現場的拍攝人員都十分的興奮。Owen 是Tallahassee 的專業演員，十分高大看起來也的確像壞人。當天晚上拍完後，他和我道別的時候我竟對他產生一些些恐懼感。

拍攝完後已經快要凌晨3點了，但我心情竟然還是十分亢奮。這大概跟我喝的Red Bull有著很直接的關係吧。

Day Off- Another nice day for a sulk

Located in downtown Tallahassee, this student cafe the customer turn-out appears to be slow in the afternoon. With less congested wireless internet connection rate, i was able to check my emails and upload my thoughts to the World Wide Web quickly and efficently.
Reason I choose this cafe to sit-in during my precious day off other than the fact I had nothing to do while stuck in the apartment with no transportation is because Su Ni, our 2nd AD told me about this place days before, she said " That place is filled with dirty seats and broken couches. " I like vintage and sometimes I can be nostalgic, so i decided to give it a try. The Cafe is about 2 minutes walking distance from today's shooting site, a pub called St.Michaels, an Irish pub where I will soon be visiting.

Here are some footages I captured.

Interior Trailer

Everyone meet Khan. Khan is the producer for "American Dream" and he just won a student Emmy Award for his short film production "Abe". Very talented director and producer.
Khan 是我們的製作人。去年他導演的一部短片"ABE"得了今年的學生艾美獎。來自色列來的Khan 現在已經在進行他的下一部 feature電影的前製了，估計明年他將回到以色列進行拍攝。

Interior Trailer Park Scene

三月的Tallahassee清晨，空氣中的每一個濕氣分子似乎都
包著薄薄的一層霜。經過一個整天的休息，冷冽的空氣使我精神抖擻，很興奮。I am so ready!
Britney Estates Park 是一個拖車屋停駐場，裡面住著許多低收入戶或退休者。這對小時候住在美國鄉下小鎮的我並不陌生。
多數的低收入戶的外表大多看起來都過重。美國就是這樣：越窮的人越胖。 因為家裡開餐館的關係，客人的身材常常是媽媽跟舅媽在後面三姑六婆的話題。舅媽常抱怨客人太會吃了，有一次甚至形容一個食客的屁股有八個頭那麼大。雖然很Crude, 但我也必須承認她描述的十分傳神。好在餐館已經沒有繼續營業了否則持續造口業多不好。 有一次在曼哈頓與朋友進餐時聊到阿肯色的生活，當我開玩笑的告訴他我從小在trailer park長大時，他看我的眼神簡直不可置信，但他也信了。不過現在總算看到拖車屋停駐場的實相了，但沒有想像中的那麼糟糕。我想那是因為現在的我充滿希望，畢竟我在做我熱愛的工作，就算是睡在拖車裡也是抱著夢想睡著的。這就是故事中的LILY; 雖然生活的困境逼迫她必須出賣自己的身體換取溫飽，但是她沒有放棄對希望的憧憬。
今天要拍攝Lily 對哥哥Danny提出 她想去邁阿密要求。哥哥Danny非常反對Lily
不切實際，並且試圖讓LILY接受命運對他們就是如此惡劣。

This is the team meeting/talk/announcement before the lunch. Although they called it "lunch" it was actually 2 P.M. in the afternoon.

After the talk, first team is released for lunch. There are only 2 persons on the first team: me and Art.

Day Off

Today I do nothing but pamper my self in the Sunshine State.

Day 2 - Kitchen Scene

Tonight is actually the first night of the shooting. When Art and I arrived we were given several paper works to sign and since Art is a SAG actor, he got even more paper works to sign. I learned that crews will always cheer after a actor is wrapped for the day. I felt a little embarressed when people apploud for me at the end of the night and all I had done for the scene was peeling off string beans for several hours...


"American Dream" is one out of five Florida States University graduating thesis film directed by Zebo Eric Yang (on right).
Eric Yang left China 7 years ago to study film after his dream of becoming a basket ball star shuttered due to knee injury. His goal is to make movies that move people from every cultures and backgrounds.

美国梦是今年佛罗里达州立大学从应届毕业生中挑选出五部毕业制作里的其中一部。导演杨泽波(（右边）在七年前来到美国学习电影电视的制作。当我问起他当初为什麽想要来美国学电影，他说：「我想学拍电影是因为大学时代的我生活中所有热情除了在篮球比赛外再来就是看电影了;当我的膝盖受伤而在也无法叁加篮球比赛时我便决心要成为一个FILMAKER。」
他的目标是要拍出能够感动不同背景、种族、文化的人们。

好样的！

Day 1 - 起居TOUR, apartment tour

A brief tour of the apartment where I stayed for 2 weeks.

Departure

我要去做美國夢了。
曾經有一個朋友，開了一家公司，叫做春秋。
不知道是美國夢大，還是春秋大夢大。

Learning the script

Lily's necklace is considered to be the most important symbol in the "American Dream". There are several scenes that use the necklace to carry out Lily's naivety and purity. I've practiced Lily's lines and movements with some knitting yarns found underneath the desk; as it turned out, the yarns was a necklace made by my very artistic nephew, Wesley. I took the yarn necklace, and decleared that it is now my official lucky necklace.

My American Dream Brother

Art Hsu
actor
who plays the part, Danny,Lily's brother, in "American Dream"

Film Homework : Million Dollar Baby

Synopsis: This multiple Oscar winner follows a determined young athlete who, through her sheer determination, awakens a long-lost fire within two aging boxers. Despondent over a painful estrangement from his daughter, trainer Frankie Dunn (Clint Eastwood) isn't prepared for boxer Maggie Fitzgerald (Hilary Swank) to enter his life. Maggie's determined to go pro, and she eventually convinces Dunn and his cohort (Morgan Freeman) to help her get to the top.

........................................................

Can I just say this is a kick ass movie? I judge movie by how much tear it is able to extract from my tear glands and how much tissues required. This is a high maintaince movie wish next time netflix will send some tissues along with the DVDs.

Film Homework : The House of Sand and Fog

Synopsis:
house as his family's dream home and quickly snaps it up. Trouble is, When her husband dumps her, an alcoholic woman, Kathy Nicolo (Jennifer Connelly), finds her house in the California hills seized in foreclosure and put up for public auction by local sheriff deputies (including Ron Eldard). An exiled Iranian air force colonel (Ben Kingsley) sees Nicolo'sNicolo is obsessed with getting the house back -- and will let nothing stand in her way.

...................................................
Some American Dreams can turned out to be nightmares.
Jennifer Connelly looks great, acting is great, but i wasn't sympathizing with her character. Ben Kingsley is a wonderful actor interchanged between the dignified colonel and the gas station clergyman, he's got the range. Ron Eldard, great job portraying the typical heart-over-mind law enforcement officer. The movie wasn't as great as its casting. The film didn't reach its supposed intensity to pull it off for the plot.

Film Homework : Monster's Ball

Synopsis:

Death row in the Louisiana State Penitentiary is the hothouse backdrop for this hard-hitting drama about racist prison guard Billy Bob Thornton, who falls in love with the wife (Best Actress Oscar winner Halle Berry) of a condemned man he helped execute. Peter Boyle plays Thornton's hopelessly bigoted father, and rapper Sean "Puffy" Combs astonishes as Berry's ill-fated, "dead man walking" husband.

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this is a good example where large and immense sexual explicated content is needed in order to portray the ultimate feelings of love, passion, hate, death. Very well balanced, excellent performance by all actors.
film viewed march 06, 2007

好事多磨

Car I hit



Car I hit with

Troublesome Travel

(土星衝海王星 2/28 7:01am) Today is 2/26/2007

First, I crashed into a car in IAD parking lot right before Eric's flight arrival.
Lost my sense of direction from IAD to DC but somehow we ended up in Old Town Va.
Then received a parking meter violation ticket for $25 at Old Town Virginia
Got lost again from Old Town Va back to IAD
Lost for 1.5 hours.....just driving aimlessly
Finally when we reached IAD poor Eric had missed his flight by 20 mins
AND
continuning with the bad luck streak:
we came to the wrong airport !

However, he managed to sleep over in the Altalanta airport , and it just occured to me that I should have offered him a blanket to bring with him.....Oh... I'm can be so absent minded sometime...

Of Course
I was lost again on the way home


As much as I want to blame it on the cosmo change, Eric simple stated the wisdom:
"The road to happiness is strewn with setbacks"
Ha, that just made my day into a good day^^